While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
