I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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