She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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