I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
