so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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