How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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