do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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