I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
