She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I believe in your delicious
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
