Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
