White coat. Heels.
if you like me you must not know who I am
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
