Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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