Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
