At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
