He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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