Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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