Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
3pm strippers are depressing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
