I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
