It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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