I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
