i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
