Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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