Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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