You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
