My first STD was from a foam party
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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