The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Less talking, more tequila
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
