Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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