I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
