woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
