his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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