Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
