I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
