I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize