Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
