You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
