I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
