are you so shy because you have an std?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
