just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
being pregnant is like rehab
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
