I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've blown a few things in my day
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
