What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
