the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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