Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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