i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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