we have pet lesbian snakes
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
