My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
