I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize