You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There r osticjed everywhere
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
