you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
