pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
