we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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