So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
third nipple confirmed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
