@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
