Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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