That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
