he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
