who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
