Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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