I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
