The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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