This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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