it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
