Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
