it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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