I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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