hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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