Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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