He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
