And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have aggressive nipples.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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