even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
