Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
